Don’t Blame Me

One of my biggest pet peaves are people who complain about things that they have some control over.  I shouldn’t be able to complain if there was a big project that I was responsible for that didn’t get done.  But I also shouldn’t complain if a personal interaction goes wrong (saying it was entirely the other persons fault).  Take responsibility.  You affect more in your life than you think.

Don’t Blame Me

The girl’s mother said, “Don’t blame me.
Her father left when she was three.
I know she don’t know her ABCs, her 1,2,3s,
But I am poor and work hard you see.”
You know the story, it’s don’t blame me.

The teacher shook her head and said,
“Don’t blame me, I know it’s sad.
He’s ten, but if the truth be told,
He reads like he was six years old.
And math, don’t ask.
It’s sad you see.
Wish I could do more, but it’s after three.
Blame the mom, blame society, blame the system.
Just don’t blame me.”

The judge was angry, his expression cold.
He scowled and said, “Son you’ve been told.
Break the law again and you’ll do time.
You’ve robbed with a gun.
Have you lost your mind?”
The young man opened his mouth to beg.
“Save your breath,” he heard instead.
“Your daddy left when you were two.
Your momma didn’t take care of you.
Your school prepared you for this fall.
Can’t read, can’t write, can’t spell at all.
But you did the crime for all to see.
You’re going to jail, son.
Don’t blame me.”

If there is a God or a person supreme,
A final reckoning, for the kind and the mean,
And judgment is rendered on who passed the buck,
Who blamed the victim or proudly stood up,
You’ll say to the world, “While I couldn’t save all,
I did not let these children fall.
By the thousands I helped all I could see.
No excuses, I took full responsibility.
No matter if they were black or white,
Were cursed, ignored, were wrong or right,
Were shunned, pre-judged, were short or tall,
I did my best to save them all.”
And I will bear witness for eternity
That you can state proudly,
“Don’t blame me.”

– By Geoffrey Canada – February 2007

I was lucky enough to be present to hear Canada speak the other day.  One of the major players in the film “Waiting for Superman” was a fascinating speaker.  He mostly spoke about the present situation in public schools and how our education system is broken in parts.  This isn’t the point of this post though.  The point of THIS post is for people to take more responsibility for what goes on in their worlds.  I’ve touched on this before but I thought this poem was too good.  I had to share.

Beautifully Different

A sly smile when the going gets tough.

An open ear.

A big old bear hug.

For a very long time, I’ve tried to not be different, but only to be the best that I can be as a person.  I think a good place to start when talking about how I am different would be with the second half of the previous sentence.
For a few years now, I have been on a huge personal development kick.  It started with just ways that I could improve little things about me.  I was reading about how to have lucid dreams and how to move to polyphasic sleep.  I was picking my mom’s brain about some of my favorite recipes that she made.  After a bit more reading and conversing with people, I read “The Game”.

Neil Strauss was a writer for Rolling Stone magazine when he decided to learn more about the seduction community in an effort to become a “Pick-Up Artist”.  He also is the author of “The Game”, a book that I thoroughly enjoyed.  There is a lot in there, but some of the biggest lessons that I got out of the book were that it was of utmost importance to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else (working on the inner me) and that you can and should treat women the right way (yet you can still maintain your ground and not have to heed their every beck and call).  I guess, in a way, it allowed me to sort of get a class on some of the specific social behaviors that I wasn’t able to pick up before.

The fact that taking care of myself is of utmost importance may sound like all I care about is myself and nothing else matters, but nothing can be further from the truth.  Taking care of myself allows me the flexibility and the ease of mine to put a lot more effort into caring for others.  If I am broken, how can I fix someone or something else?

Trying to be the best that I can be also forces me to be aware of what I could change about myself.  It has given me a whole new sense of awareness about myself and how I come off to others.  I’ve learned that perception truly is reality in many cases (for better or worse).

Going back to the beginning and how I’ve tried not to be different, for the longest time in my life I just tried to fit in.  I wanted to be what everyone wanted me to be.  I still suffer from this somewhat, and it has been the biggest transition post-college.  There was no one to guide my decision-making.  I feel like I have always leaned heavily on that guide.

“Que Sera Sera” or “What will be, will be.”

Great quote, but I think I am done with it.  If I learned anything in 2010, it is that I make my world.  If I am having a bad day, I can change it.  It all depends on where my mind is at.  True, you do your best and things will fall as they may.  I haven’t lived like that.  I never really took full responsibility for my hopes and dreams.  This year, that will change.  I want to be one of the lucky ones who chases and achieves his dreams.

So in 2011 I am going to go out and DO.

Note: This is a response to a #reverb10. #reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. I mentioned in a previous post that I would come back to this.  So here I am, coming back.  Today’s prompt is: “Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.”