Think of me as a Refinery

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?

I had three different reactions to this #reverb10 prompt (the last one of the year).  My first was echoing what many reverbers have been saying, and I think Dr. Crazy summed it up best:

Jesus H. Christ.  I’m just going to pretend that the whole “core story” business is not part of this prompt, because if I have a core story (and I’m not saying that I do, because eewww) I certainly don’t think that’s public property and I don’t intend to share it with the world.

I love what the internet is and can be, but I also learned long ago that I would rather all of my private thoughts stay my private thoughts.

But then my second thought was that my first thought was such a cop-out.  I totally understand not sharing.  My thoughts are not always public property.  But in the deep recesses of my mind, I just didn’t really want to have to think about my core story.  It’s the last day of the year, things are happening, and it would be easy to take the easy way out.  I could get really deep and share some pretty personal stuff or I could stay relatively shallow and come up with some sort of fun story to finish off 2010 with.

My third, and final, thought was, “Just do it”.  So that’s where I am now.  As I’ve been writing this I’ve realized what my core story is.  It didn’t take a whole lot of digging, as it truly is the essence of me.  It is the secret to understanding how I think and what I am.

Unfortunately, there is no way that I would be able to explain it all in one post.  But I’ll try.

Sometime over the summer, my office had someone in another department come over to our department and do some sort of team testing to see what roles we played within our department “team”.  I am simplifying here for the sake of brevity, but there were four different outcomes of the type of person you played on a team.  There was the big idea person, the person who promoted the cause, and the person that got things done.  I was in none of those categories (though, I do tend to slide more towards the executor side).

I am a Refiner.

What does that mean, refiner?  Well, it basically means that at the heart of me, I question things.  If you say that we need to have a big party for this celebration, I immediately think of how we can get to the details.  Do we need a tent?  How many people will we invite?  Do we need food?  It’s kind of like being a details person, but not exactly.

It basically means that it takes more effort for me to be a cheerleader for a cause, or to just brainstorm ideas without nitpicking them than it does for me to think about where things can go wrong.

Though I am a refiner, I’ve never liked being put in that box.  I don’t enjoy the fact that I refine all the time.  I am constantly checking myself to not do this as my first instinct.  Being a refiner has it’s place, but I try to keep it in it’s place as much as possible.

Obviously, this little team exercise isn’t the be all end all of me.  I can be any of the other three roles, but at my core, this is what I am.

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It has been a pleasure interacting with the #reverb10 crew.  I have enjoyed reading responses to the prompts when I’ve had the time.  Have a safe and happy New Year!  See you in 2011!

Note: This is my final response to the #reverb10 prompt (which just happens to be the last day of the year). #reverb10 is  an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Each day has a prompt. Today’s prompt is: “Core Story.  What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?  (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)

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